Tag: perception

Don’t wait…

We often wait for life to be this way or that way before we make a move or do something we’ve always wanted to do.

The truth is that life will never be exactly the way we want it to be, it will never be perfect.

Life is messy. The winds will blow. Your hair will be messy. The sun will come out. Live and love anyway. Take pictures anyway. Live now. Follow your passions. Follow your heart. Don’t wait.

Perks of being a counselor: knowing there is no such thing as a perfect time or perfect life. The only perfection is how perfectly imperfect we all are. ❤️

Timelines

Sometimes you accidentally run into timelines of other people that match up with your old timeline. However, their timeline continues uninterrupted while yours takes a departure from your projected and estimated trajectory. It’s always a little jarring when you see the timeline that’s uninterrupted and start comparing it to yours. You start wondering if maybe this uninterrupted timeline could have been your life and then you look for where things changed. It’s an exhausting and defeating process. It presupposes that one single act can determine the fate of your timeline. It also presupposes that one outcome is better than another.


Life is not like that. If it were, there would be an antidote or a counter action that would protect you from that other “action” that is the determining factor in the change of trajectory. (Now I’m getting into Quantum Physics, which I love by the way.) 😉

In reality, there is no way to pinpoint a single moment when things change. While there are single events that change us forever, life is a continuous flow of moments that lead from one to another. Every time I have tried to look for that single moment, I have had to look at the moment before that and the one before that and on and on and on. It is actually easier to look forward and change actions in present mode for future benefit.

So where’s the perk?

I suppose the perk of being a counselor in this situation is to know at any given moment you have the power to change the future.

Burning Bridges

As a counselor I have hope in almost everything and everyone. It is also who I am as a person. Some would argue I have too much hope and see life with rose colored glasses despite all that I have personally experienced and all that I have heard about the grief of others, “la vie en rose,” (listen to this song if you ever have a chance).

All I know is that I have always had the presence of the “Divine” or “higher power” in my life. Even in my loneliest, I have truly never been or felt alone. However, having said this, I have learned a lot in the last few years about having hope in every situation and everyone. 

Lesson 1:
Everything and everyone has the potential of change but not everything and everyone will reach that potential in a timeline that we are able to witness.
Lesson 2:
When we choose to leave certain people and things in the time and space they belong and occupy, we are not forgetting them and their time with us. We are operating with the virtue of justice by letting people occupy their space and time and allowing ourselves to move on and occupy our own space and time. 
Lesson 3:
We need energy and fuel to power our way through our new, and most likely, different journey. We cannot exist simultaneously in two or more dimensions of time without severe exhaustion and lack of motivation. We have to choose, and sadly, sometimes our fuel and guidance comes from the light provided by the bridges we burn to our past. 
Lesson 4:
While you may choose to return to an older period of time, you have to remember that you return as a changed person and therefore will possibly, and in all likelihood, have different reactions and behaviors. Don’t be surprised if you realize something or someone from your past isn’t as interesting or is more interesting than you thought originally. 
Lesson 5:
There is a lesson in everything. Find it, especially when you have the least amount of understanding of what’s going on. It will always shed light on a situation. 
Lesson 6:
Hope applies to everyone. It’s an equal opportunity concept. If you have hope in every situation and everyone else, that means there is also hope for you and your situation. You are not the exception to the rule. 
Lesson 7: 
There are connections between every act, person, thing and situation. Find what the connections are. They are the yellow brick road that will lead you to the treasure at the end of the rainbow. 
Once again, I’m not saying anything you can’t think of or haven’t possibly thought of yourself. I just happen to be trained to look for these things as part of my job and in my own life. You can become this aware as well.
In fact, you might already be. 
I am grateful for this kind of awareness. It is most definitely one of the perks of being a counselor. 

Perfectly Imperfect

We have got to stop expecting perfection, which many times translates into “sameness.”

When we look to make things perfectly right or exactly the same, we diminish not only our own unique experiences, but other people’s experiences as well, including their suffering.

In efforts to fit other people’s experiences into our paradigm of perfection, we eliminate key pieces of information that would allow us a deeper and more profound understanding of not only others, but of ourselves.

Theories of social cognition assert that our perception of who we are is reflection of input we get from our environment as well as information from others which we use to make decisions and judgments about who we are and then, in turn, we reflect back to others in the form of behaviors. (See Reflection and Transformation.)

While we are looking at others to gain insight about ourselves, others are look at us to do the same.

What does this tell us? That we are much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for, not just in shaping how others perceive themselves, but in ultimately creating the much needed change in this world.

Imagine a world where we reflect back a deeper, more loving and compassionate view of others. What message does that give the other person about themselves? And in turn, what might they reflect back to us about who we are?

If we choose to only look with our physical eyes, we will only look symmetry, alignment, structure, “beauty”, etc. But if we decide to reflect back the depth of what we see in others such as love, kindness, suffering, pain, joy, trauma, etc. we may be able to slowly shift this society’s obsession with outer perfection to embrace our inner imperfect shades of light.