We have got to stop expecting perfection, which many times translates into “sameness.”

When we look to make things perfectly right or exactly the same, we diminish not only our own unique experiences, but other people’s experiences as well, including their suffering.

In efforts to fit other people’s experiences into our paradigm of perfection, we eliminate key pieces of information that would allow us a deeper and more profound understanding of not only others, but of ourselves.

Theories of social cognition assert that our perception of who we are is reflection of input we get from our environment as well as information from others which we use to make decisions and judgments about who we are and then, in turn, we reflect back to others in the form of behaviors. (See Reflection and Transformation.)

While we are looking at others to gain insight about ourselves, others are look at us to do the same.

What does this tell us? That we are much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for, not just in shaping how others perceive themselves, but in ultimately creating the much needed change in this world.

Imagine a world where we reflect back a deeper, more loving and compassionate view of others. What message does that give the other person about themselves? And in turn, what might they reflect back to us about who we are?

If we choose to only look with our physical eyes, we will only look symmetry, alignment, structure, “beauty”, etc. But if we decide to reflect back the depth of what we see in others such as love, kindness, suffering, pain, joy, trauma, etc. we may be able to slowly shift this society’s obsession with outer perfection to embrace our inner imperfect shades of light.