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Everything is Everything

The ever evolving Yasaman (me) believes everything can and does happen simultaneously. In other words, you can’t wait to be healed before you begin a journey and you don’t have to master self-love before loving others, nor is self-love a prerequisite for others to love you. Daily evolution, for me, is to accept the fullness of what being human is…a never ending transformation fueled by engagement with self, others and our environment, a circular connection and interaction with the seen and unseen.

The illusion we are given in this plane of existence is that everything is linear. However, in actuality, that is just one perception of the representation of this physical world. A holistic approach to reality would demonstrate a more comprehensive truth…that nothing is linear and that not only are multiple things happening at the same time, but within each different representation of reality, there are numerous dimensions. While it may feel like there is no single answer, we still find that all responses can lead to one single place and space in time, that thing called LOVE.

What is LOVE? It’s lots of things. I bet that we can explain most things and phenomenas in terms of the force that LOVE is. For example, gravity is love. It is the force that pulls objects together. The the pull of certain atoms to be together is their love for one another. What we see is LOVE in the form of planets orbiting each other.

Growth is love. When the flowers grow toward sunlight, it is their molecules’ love for energy production through photosynthesis that guides them to light. What we see in turn, is the blossoming of a flower. What we are witnessing is LOVE in the form of a chemical reaction.

Music is love. It is the beauty of the melody that is created when notes are put together. Beautiful music is just notes that love one another. What we hear is what LOVE sounds like.

And so everything is everything.

I cannot evolve on my own no matter how much I love myself, just like a note by itself is not music. I have to be open to experiencing everything, sometimes chronologically and linearly according to my limited human capabilities at that time. But I have to also be open to the idea of different life experiences happening simultaneously, which I believe is how most of life events unfold in order to create the most beautiful symphony.

Perks of being a counselor:

Knowing that when I’m out of tune, it’s because I’m learning to make a better song. Everything is everything. Everything and everyone is linked to everything and everyone else.

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“I wish you pain” ❤️

“I wish you pain.” “But why?” You might ask? Here’s one way to look at pain:

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

As 2019 comes to a close, it’s important to take time to reflect on how you got through life this past year.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

1. What was one of the most difficult experiences of 2019?

2. How did I get through this difficulty?

3. Is there a pattern connected to this difficulty I experienced in 2019? (In other words, have I experienced something similar in the past?)

4. If so, what was the theme?

5. What did I learn about myself after this experience?

6. How do I want to do things differently moving forward?

7. What was one good thing that happened to me in 2019?

8. What did I learn about myself during and after this good thing happened?

9. How did I participate in creating this good experience and what can I do to create more good experiences in my life?

10. What is one way I helped another person this past year?

11. How did that feel?

12. How do I want to participate in acts of service and kindness in 2020?

I will leave you with the lyrics of Andy Grammer’s new song, “Wish You Pain.” He said it better than I can. While I don’t ever wish for anyone to deal with tragedy, I am aware of the growth connected to suffering and depth of understanding of what is most important in life when one experiences deep sorrow. And since life is filled with not just happiness, but also pain and sorrow, we can, at the very least, try to gain something from it by reflecting on how it has helped us grow.

“I hope your doubts come like monsters
And terrorize your dreams
I hope you feel the lonely hopelessness
‘Cause no one else believes
I hope you question whether you ever really had a chance at all

I hope your fear is thick like poison
It gets into your blood
I hope you push until you cannot breathe
And it’s still not enough
I hope you put your life out on the line
And everybody watches while you fall

‘Cause I love you more than you could know
And your heart, it grows every time it breaks
I know that it might sound strange

But I wish you pain
Wish you pain
It’s hard to say
But I wish you pain

I hope people break their promises
Leave you in the cold
I hope they beat your heart to pieces
Worse than you’ve ever known
I hope you finally arrive, only to find you’re nowhere close

I hope you cry and tears come streaming down your face
I hope this life traps you in more than you thought you could ever take
I hope the help you want never comes and you do it on your own

‘Cause I love you more than you could know
And your heart, it grows every time it breaks
I know that it might sound strange

But I wish you pain
Wish you pain
It’s hard to say
But I wish you pain

I love you more than you could even know
Been here before and I just wanna see you grow
Want you to grow

‘Cause everything that matters most
That’s where it goes by a different name
I know that it might sound strange

But I wish you pain
I wish you pain
It’s hard to say
Wish you pain

I love you more than you could even know
I’ve been here before and I just wanna see you grow
Want you to grow”

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Andrew Grammer / Ryan Met / Thomas Meredith

Wish You Pain lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

(Check out his song while you’re at it. YouTube link below.)

https://youtu.be/12Us5nPWouY

Perks of being a counselor:

Having been to the end of the tunnel numerous times, not just in my own life, but witnessed it through the stories of others, and having seen the light in order to be able to know and reassure you that there is, indeed, some form of transformation and light at the end of the tunnel.

I wish you pain…and love, happiness, joy, peace, health, prosperity and well-being in all areas of your life too!

Happy New Year! Thank you for all your love and support! I appreciate you! ❤️

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Sense of wonder…

Recognizing and being aware of your perspective on life can have miraculous consequences.

How would you live your life differently if you chose to see what you look at and/or the people you interact with as if it was the first time or the last time you’re seeing them?

And if you would behave differently, why aren’t you behaving differently right now?

I can’t tell you how many clients I have spoken with who have told me if they knew it was the last time they were going to see a loved one, that they would have let them know how much they loved them and how much they meant to them.

So why wait? Tell them right now. Go. Do it. Right this minute. I promise you won’t regret it.

Perks of Being a Counselor:

Always knowing that each session with a client may be the last one and so making sure that each one of my clients walks away with me having given them the best I have to give as their therapist. And then using the same process with all my loved ones.

Do I always succeed? No. But that doesn’t mean I stop trying.

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On Grief…

Grief is heavy. It’s like carrying around a weighted blanket with you for the rest of your life, except it’s not comforting to be weighed down. Everything becomes more laborious. Your movements slow down. Your thinking slows down. It’s like you’re carrying around with you the entire world and all the pain and suffering that has ever existed from the beginning of time, all. the. time.

You see people around you moving about their lives and it feels like you’re in a slow motion movie while everyone else’s life has been sped up. Every now and then, someone steps out of their fast-paced dimensions just long enough for you to be able to see their faces and for them to see yours, but no one can stay in your slow world with you, no one is allowed. It’s the kind of restricted access no one would ever wish for, but here you are, and here you will be forever.

You learn to start walking with this heaviness weighing you down. Some days it feels like you’re walking in tar and can barely take a step forward. Other times, it feels more like you’re moving in water, still hard but much more preferable to the dark tar. You learn to appreciate walking the earth with your heavy blanket as long as you can still move and feel the earth beneath your feet. Slowly, you forget you’re being weighed down and learn that this is your new gravity, your new posture.

You start to feel gratitude for this blanket because it’s a reminder of your love for the person, for YOUR person, who has died. Eventually, the blanket becomes your protection from the speedy lives everyone else is living. You realize that while you’ve slowed down, become immobilized at times, you’ve also been able to see the moments within the moments that everyone else is missing.

At some point, you’re able to recognize the faces of others who are also moving slowly through time. You find them and they find you, and without any words, you KNOW and recognize each other. You know what is happening, you see each other’s weighted blankets and you recognize the beautiful designs on them. You begin to see that the blanket is no longer painful to carry because while you’re still weighed down, you have built some very strong heart muscles to carry all the grief and love. And so you continue to walk.

That is all. You continue to walk. That is all, that is EVERYTHING.

Perks of being a counselor: inter-dimensional access and journeying with those who have built the strongest of hearts. I see you.

💓🙏🏽💓